How far back in time can you understand English? — Colin Gorrie

A man takes a train from London to the coast. He's visiting a town called Wulfleet. It's small and old, the kind of place with a pub that's been pouring pints since the Battle of Bosworth Field. He’s going to write about it for his blog. He's excited. 

He arrives, he checks in. He walks to the cute B&B he'd picked out online. And he writes it all up like any good travel blogger would: in that breezy LiveJournal style from 25 years ago, perhaps, in his case, trying a little too hard.

But as his post goes on, his language gets older. A hundred years older with each jump. The spelling changes. The grammar changes. Words you know are replaced by unfamiliar words, and his attitude gets older too, as the blogger’s voice is replaced by that of a Georgian diarist, an Elizabethan pamphleteer, a medieval chronicler.

By the middle of his post, he’s writing in what might as well be a foreign language.

But it’s not a foreign language. It’s all English.

None of the story is real: not the blogger, not the town. But the language is real, or at least realistic. I constructed the passages myself, working from what we know about how English was written in each period. 

It's a thousand years of the English language, compressed into a single blog post. 

Read it and notice where you start to struggle. Notice where you give up entirely. Then meet me on the other side and I’ll tell you what happened to the language (and the blogger).

Ready? Set? GO!

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Simon Roper's annual pronunciation videos were part of the inspiration for this piece. His most recent one (top) is extraordinary. What Simon does for the spoken language, I've tried to do here for the written, albeit running in the opposite direction.

'Industry' Season 4: Better than ever

I love this series and have been patiently waiting until all eight episodes will have been released (Episode 8 drops here in the U.S. tomorrow, March 1) so I could enjoy them just the way I like: bingeing* two/night on four successive nights.

This enables me to keep the narrative fresh in my mind, impossible for me if I watch one hour-long episode weekly for eight weeks.

The only thing lacking this time around is the fantastic soundtrack that accompanied Series 1, but no worries with YouTube making up the deficit all day long while I do other stuff.

*Both bingeing and binging are acceptable

Greek Mythology Family Tree

This video provides a comprehensive overview of all the important Greek and Roman gods, goddesses, nymphs, heroes, monsters, demigods, and other assorted spiritual beings; who begat who; and what all their domains were.

[via Open Culture]

bookofjoe's [new]* Favorite Pen

It's the Uni-Ball Signo RT1 0.28mm Retractable Gel Ink Pen with Rubber Grip and Ultra Micro Point.

Super-smooth, it produces a super fine line with almost no effort.

So easy, even my calico cat Vanta can use it (top).

Black: 5 for $9.99.

Red: 10 for $19.99.

Cheap at twice the price.

Available colors:

*I discover a new favorite pen every few years and have since I was in college, which was where and when I developed my mild pen fetish.

FOR SALE: HUNTER S. THOMPSON'S 1973 CHEVROLET CAPRICE CLASSIC CONVERTIBLE, KNOWN AS THE 'RED SHARK'

Bid here.

Glass Headstones — 'Ars longa, vita brevis'

Greg Lundgren and his partner, Jim Nelsen, were stained glass artists in Seattle.

In the spring of 2002 they started making glass headstones.

Their grave markers are designed to last more than 500 years.

As if you'll care.

OK, OK, I know — don't be a hater.

Where was I?

Oh, yeah, Lundgren Monuments.

From the website:

Every human has a unique fingerprint, an original voice, and a personality entirely their own.

It seems so strange that the memorials crafted to honor these unique individuals are so uniform and pay little homage to the person remembered.

With so many cultures and histories, individual quests, and life pursuits, shouldn't we have a diversity of options to remember our beloved?

Lundgren Monuments creates handmade translucent cast glass memorials as an alternative to the traditional granite and bronze headstones.

Luminescent, organic, rugged, and incredibly beautiful, cast glass monuments actually glow with life and spirit, standing out as a beacon amongst a field of dull stones.

There is nothing like them in the world.

Isn't that the way you want to be remembered?

Order yours today.

FunFact: "Ars longa, vita brevis" is a Latin translation of an aphorism coming originally from Greek, the first two lines of the Aphorisms by Hippocrates.

You could look it up.

What Color Is Your Dot?

 

I'm yellow (Perplexity Pro: $20/month and I love it).

Bikepacking 1,400km Through the Arctic Night

Joffrey Maluski's account of his epic 25-day journey last year appeared on sidetracked.com.

YouTube description: 

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The Kaamos Road, 25 days and 1,500 km cycling in Lapland, at the heart of the polar night.

A winter bikepacking expedition across 3 countries in temperatures below -30°C.

After cycling across the Icelandic Highlands during the winter of 2023, the urge to explore the far North again became irresistible. 

This time, the goal was clear: to experience and document the polar night, the Arctic winter where the sun never rises.

One year later, I set off on a cycling expedition through Lapland, spanning three countries: Norway, Finland, and Sweden.

An eastward journey, fully self-supported, deep into the polar night, where the sun never crosses the horizon and temperatures drop below -30°C.

Over 25 days and 1,500 km, I traveled across frozen landscapes, guided only by the subtle twilight.

A winter bikepacking adventure marked by long silent nights, solitude, extreme cold... but also by a rare, raw, and calming beauty.

With this film, "The Kaamos Road," I wanted to capture the delicate balance between effort and awe, exhaustion and serenity.

An ode to the slow rhythm of the polar night, and to the raw power of the Arctic.

bookofjoe's Favorite Thing: Zeiss Mobile Screen Wipes

One of my longest standing fetishes is clean screens on my electronic devices.

Not only clean, but also undamaged: I traded in a four-year-old iPhone at an Apple Store which the tech remarked was the least flawed screen that old he'd ever seen.

To my naked eye there wasn't a single scratch or blemish.

Here's the best part: I've never used a screen protector (and I never will) — no way can the images be as good as on the original screen without intervening layers.

When I bought a Vision Pro two years ago I very carefully read the detailed instructions on how to clean the 6k (!) lenses and my Zeiss prescription inserts.

Long story short: use Zeiss Lens Wipes.

Which is what I've always done.

I figures what was good enough for my Vision Pro lenses for sure was OK for my phone and iPads — but it turns out I was wrong.

Apple recommends only occasional use of Zeiss Lens Wipes on iPhones and iPads (which has been my practice, but only by happenstance) because regular repeated use will cause the oleophobic factory coating to degrade over time.

Instead, it recommends Zeiss Mobile Screen Wipes (pictured up top).

On the back of the box it says "Suitable for use on all mobile electronic device screens (smartphones, tablets, and laptops)."

Today was the first I knew these even existed.

Better late than never.

$14.40 for a box of 120.

Ordered.

Micropayments

Micropayments — instantly with one click paying, say, 1 cent to the author/creator of something you happen on online with ALL of that 1 cent going directly into their bank account — have been the subject of endless discussion ever since the internet became a thing.

And yet we're still not even close.

Patreon/Buy Me a Coffee/Ko-fi/Gumroad/Ghost/Substack etc. all aim to let you pay creators but none are even close to the frictionless micropayments envisioned since the last century.

I don't have much hope that they'll happen in my lifetime.

Richard Flanagan: Life After Death

More about Flanagan, a terrific Australian author whose books I first encountered last month, here.

BeyondTheMedspeak: Can a person's eye color change as they age?

I know it can because mine has.

When I was a boy and in my teens my eyes were brown.

Period.

Now they are mostly green.

I noticed the change when I was in medical school and wondered how such a thing could happen.

Over the years I've asked many ophthalmologists about it and they've all said I must be remembering incorrectly because eye color doesn't change over time.

But guess what?

They were wrong and I am not crazy.

Anahad O'Connor, in his "Really?" column New York Times, addressed the question and reported that "in a small percentage of adults, eye color can naturally become either noticeably darker or lighter with age."

Here's his piece.

The Claim: Eye Color Can Change as We Age

THE FACTS It can bend light, bring the world into focus, and next to the human brain may be our most complicated organ.

But for many people the most intriguing feature of the human eye is simply its color.

Can it really change for no apparent reason?

In most people, the answer is no.

Eye color fully matures in infancy and remains the same for life.

But in a small percentage of adults, eye color can naturally become either noticeably darker or lighter with age.

What determines eye color is the pigment melanin.

Eyes that have a lot of it in the connective tissue at the front of the iris, called the stroma, are darker, while those that have less tend to be lighter.

The levels of melanin generally remain the same throughout life, but a few things can change them permanently.

The first is a handful of ocular diseases like pigmentary glaucoma.

Another is a condition called heterochromia, or multicolored eyes, which affects about 1 percent of the population and is often caused by traumatic injuries. An example of this can be seen in the rock star David Bowie, who attributes his contrasting eye colors, hazel and light blue, to a blow to the face as a child.

The third cause appears to be genetics. A study in 1997, for example, looked at thousands of twins and found that 10 percent to 15 percent of the subjects had gradual changes in eye color throughout adolescence and adulthood, which occurred at nearly identical rates in identical twins.

THE BOTTOM LINE Eyes can change color in some people because of genetics or injury. 

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Note: the photo up top illustrates heterochromia, in which each eye has a different color.

Irrational Enthusiasm is the Seed of All Great Things

Sure, irrational exuberance is considered a bad thing when it comes to the stock market and investing but that doesn't mean irrationality itself isn't essential to good and great new things.

Because many really interesting things are the result of doing something dumb or even irrational.

Like that guy who decided to kill himself by going over Niagara Falls — without a barrel, instead just floating on his back admiring the view — and came to his senses unharmed, in the churning waters at the base.

He didn't find that his life had changed all that much a year later, when he wrote an article about it that I read in the Washington Post.

But that's not the point.

And he certainly wasn't enthusiastic when he decided to call it a day by taking what he thought would be his ultimate ride.

And he was quite rational, if you think about it: anyone thinking clearly would predict that you would not survive a trip over Niagara Falls wearing no protection but your street clothes.

So.

Most of my best posts over the decades — at least, those I like the best — are a result of a bit too much coffee or some sort of serotonin overload — but so what?

I'm all for out–of–control, irrational, nonsensical behavior.

In fact, it's a requirement for working here.

One of my favorite essays is entitled, "Enthusiasm as a Form of Love."

It's by E.M. Cioran.

My second–favorite Cioran essay is "Degradation Through Work."

First-Ever YouTube Video Enters Collection of the Victoria & Albert Museum

The Victoria and Albert Museum in London, helping to preserve and document the history and culture of the internet, has just acquired a reconstruction of an early YouTube watch page, featuring the first-ever upload, the 19-second-long "Me at the zoo."

The exhibit opened last week, and captures YouTube as it appeared on December 8, 2006 (top). Developed by the museum alongside YouTube's UX team and interaction design studio, the exhibit showcases the early designs of elements that continue to shape the internet today, like badges, rating buttons, and sharing and recommendation features.

The 19-second clip of YouTube co-founder Jawed Karim (below), 

filmed on a low-res camera in 2005, is widely considered a foundational moment in the use of user-generated content.

The exhibit is in the Design 1900-Now Gallery at the V&A South Kensington.

Kraft Deluxe Mac & Cheese v Kraft Mac & Cheese Original: Microwave Throwdown

What with my jones for food that's easy and fast and hot, the apotheosis of which is Nissin Cup Noodles — now even better with a new cardboard cup that doesn't require you to unwrap the cellophane enclosing the longtime flagship styrofoam iteration — it seemed a no-brainer... heh... to ask Perplexity Pro for some suggestions for other highly regarded microwave dishes.

It offered up, among other, venerable Kraft Mac & Cheese.

I really like the original in the blue box but the effort and time and cleanup involved are just not worth it to me.

So I figured there was hope for the microwave version, for which I paid $4.92 for four.

WRONG.

It looks terrible when you first peel off the top and see a few noodles sitting in some white powder (starch) at the cup's bottom. 

You remove the cheese powder packet, then add water to a nearly invisible fill line about a third of the way up from the bottom.

Then you stir, then nuke it for 3.5 minutes.

But wait — something really bad happened 2 out of 4 times: the cup leaked in the microwave, making a smelly sticky mess of the glass platter and inside the microwave, requiring not only tossing what was left in the trash but also a prolonged cleanup.

FAIL!

The two that didn't leak were terrible after mixing in the cheese powder as directed.

But wait — there's more!

Turns out there's a Deluxe version (top) that features bigger elbow macaroni and cheese sauce sort of like Velveeta as opposed to that orange powder.

Preparation is identical to the original.

4 out of 4 of Deluxe cups turned out as specified, and they were pretty good.

Astoundingly, the Deluxe version costs the same as the original: Four for $4.92.

Go figure.

The Lost 1984 Video: young Steve Jobs introduces the Macintosh

YouTube description: "The Original 1984 Macintosh Introduction: the magic moment when Steve Jobs unveiled the Macintosh after releasing it from its bag. We found these lost historical videos in 2004 and restored and published them to the world on January 24, 2005, when the Mac became 21 years old."

12,490,00 views since this was uploaded to YouTube on January 24, 2009.

Spotless

Fair warning: there goes the stain.

Let's talk about tripping over a cord

Ever trip over a  cable or cord that was lying on the floor in an unexpected place?

Ever pull some electrical appliance down off a counter or desk by tripping over its cord?

Thought so.

For years I used tape to secure cords to the floor until one day it occurred to me to look into those rubber or plastic cord protectors you see in offices, neatly concealing and protecting the wires, cords and cables within and preventing accidents like the ones you've had.

I thought it might be nice to have that same cord–concealing capability — plus I like the alliteration.

Long story short: I woke up my Crack Research Team©®™ and told them to get on with it.

There's a slit in the bottom which opens for cord insertion.

They come in a zillion sizes and colors.

Double-sided tape on the bottom holds them in place.

Nifty and useful, I say.

Nice gift for friends and peeps who think they have everything.

A number of colors and lengths to choose from here.

In Praise of Dreams — Wislawa Szymborska

In my dreams
I paint like Vermeer van Delft.

I speak fluent Greek
and not just with the living.

I drive a car
that does what I want it to.

I am gifted
and write mighty epics.

I hear voices
as clearly as any venerable saint.

My brilliance as a pianist
would stun you.

I fly the way we ought to,
i.e., on my own.

Falling from the roof,
I tumble gently to the grass.

I've got no problem
breathing under water.

I've can't complain:
I've been able to locate Atlantis.

It's gratifying that I can always
wake up before dying.

As soon as war breaks out,
I roll over on my other side.

I'm a child of my age,
but I don't have to be.

A few years ago
I saw two suns.

And the night before last a penguin,
clear as day.

What are the odds?

Res ipsa loquitur.

The Rolling Stones Meet Mercedes-Benz

The full-page New York Times ad above appeared on page A7 of the Grey Lady on October 26, 2005.

I still remember opening the paper and nearly falling off my seat.

What the heck?

Mercedes paid a pretty penny to get the Stones to dress nicely and pose with the then grotesque–looking new R–Class.

The ad also appeared in that day's Wall Street Journal and USA Today.

The Stones have come a long, long way from back in the day when Ed Sullivan wouldn't let them on because they were too nasty.

Most everyone eventually learns to play nice — for the right price.

WalkmanLand

From the website:

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WalkmanLand pays tribute to the pocket tape devices of yesteryear: Walkmans.

These analog machines are considered one of the devices that have most influenced the behavior of people in modern societies.

Our goal: collect ALL the once commercially available models under one roof, in one catalog.

Fair warning: there goes the day.

Up top: an early (1983) Walkman TV commercial.

How and where I find out about books I want to read

• Never from book reviews: I stopped reading them many years ago because I was afraid knowing in detail what a book was about would ruin it for me. That stopped being an issue in recent years because my memory's so bad now that I can't even remember the name of the movie I watched last night. Nevertheless, I've never gone back to reading reviews, which is a complete volte-face from when I was younger and avidly read reviews, even subscribing to the New York Review of Books.

• In passing, in online stories and articles in various news sources I frequent daily: Google News (both the general version and "For You"; the Guardian; Wall Street Journal; Washington Post; New York Times.

• In the Comments section of Hacker News, which is probably my favorite website in the world and has been for the past couple years (try it, you might like it). I visit several times every day, as the home page updates and changes constantly with what readers upvote.

• From the multitude of newsletters I subscribe to: The Browser, Scope of Work, Dense Discovery, Benedict Evans, The Overspill. The Browser and The Overspill are M-F dailies; Dense Discovery and Benedict Evans are more or less weekly; Scope of Work is erratic, perhaps twice a month. I pay for The Browser and Scope of Work, the other three are free.

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FunFact: when 2026 started I decided to keep track of how many books I read during the year. I was diligent through January but then got tired of paying attention and writing down the finish dates and titles. Up top and below, 

my list, no longer being updated. In January I read 9 (nine) books, which seems about my pace since I was in high school; so perhaps 2/week, 100±/year.

bookofjoe's Favorite Thing: Truffle-Flavored Bjorn Qorn

I don't know where I heard about Bjorn Qorn but I took a flutter and ordered some.

Best popcorn I've EVER eaten.

Seven flavors: Classic (no salt), Cloudy (salty), Earth (truffle), Spicy, Maple, Coz-Y (maple, reishi mushroom, and cinnamon), Ruby (hibiscus, nutritional yeast, and salt).

I've only tried the first five so far: every time I reorder, they've added a new flavor.

I can't tell the difference between Classic and Cloudy; Earth (truffle) as I noted in the headline is my fave so far; Spicy is a bit too hot for me; Maple is superb.

I will try Coz-Y and Ruby next.

You can order by the bag or build your own box right here.

If you're not completely delighted with this popcorn let me know and I will refund three times what you paid for it.

Molly Guard

From Marcin Wichary's Unsung:

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Old-school computing has the term "molly guard": it's the little plastic safety cover you have to move out of the way before you press some button of significance.

Anecdotally, this was named after Molly, an engineer's daughter who was invited to a datacenter and promptly pressed a big red button, as one would.

Then she did it again later the same day.

You might recognize molly guards from any aerial combat movie you ever watched:

And some vestigial forms of molly guards exist everywhere in civilian hardware, too: from recessed buttons, through plastic ridges around keys, 

to something like a SIM card ejection hole:

Of course, molly guards happen in software, too: from the cheapest "are you sure?" dialogs through extra modifier keys (in Ctrl+Alt+Del, the Ctrl and Alt keys are the guards).

But it's also worth thinking of reverse molly guards: buttons that will press themselves if you don't do anything after a while.

I see them sometimes, and always consider them very thoughtful. This is the first example that comes to my mind:

There is no worse feeling for a programmer than waking up, walking up to the machine that was supposed to work through the night, and seeing it did absolutely nothing, stupidly waiting for hours for a response to a question that didn't even matter.