bookofjoe
Saturday, April 25, 2026
Chef's Knife Earrings
Holding Hands Is Like Holding the Whole Body — Elizabeth Jacobson
Ice hangs off the roof like a bear claw.
Single drops of defrosted water
melt down long icicles which you catch
in a cup and drink with quick
licks of your tongue, pretending the taste of sugar.
You say: holding hands is like holding the whole body,
and you touch each one of my fingers,
naming it a leg or an arm.
You give each nail a part of my face.
I watch your small face at night,
green in the glow of the night-light.
It never stops moving.
Even the faint hairs on your forehead
seem to breathe as you dream you are
racing toward a gate swinging open.
In the morning you are up first,
going through the drawers in your bathroom
for a cloth to cover the doll house.
You rush into my room with your old baby bath towel,
the one with the turquoise trim,
and the little Carter's bow.
You say you remember this bow.
You remember that you used to try to pull it off,
that you wanted to tell me that you wanted to pull it off,
but you couldn't because you didn't have the words.
There is snow melting on the window frame behind you.
Drops fill in the tiny squares of the screen
magnifying what's beyond into oblivion.
I cannot see past you. It is you who delivered
solitude's ending.
The Most Googled Birds in the U.S.
I can't speak for you but me, I lose sleep wondering about this.
Not any more.
Data visualization artist Nadieh Bremer created Searching For Birds, a website which turns Google Trends data into a wonderfully scrollable exploration of which birds Americans search for — and why the rarest ones barely register at all.
Wrote Bremer, "As you scroll through through the following interactive graphics, you'll get a glimpse at roughly 700 North American and Hawaiian species and learn about why some of them make us fall in love."
Fair warning: there goes the day.
Wait a sec — what's that song I'm hearing?
Friday, April 24, 2026
A letter to the future
Okjökull is the name of a former glacier in Iceland, the first one to disappear.
In 2019 a plaque (above and below)
was installed where it once was.
More here.
Slow Zone Pompom Beanie
From the website: "Keep your head warm with a beanie that guarantees no one will ask you s**t.
I took a flutter on this puppy the moment I happened on it.
OMG SO ME!
u kan 2!
Wait a sec — what's that song I'm hearing?
Thursday, April 23, 2026
I wonder if Richard Hughes' and Hugh Everett III's paths ever crossed IRL
"
"That was the last news they could expect for many months.... But she argued, logically enough, that the time must come to an end, all time does; there is nothing so inexorable as a ship, plodding away, plodding away, all over the place, till at last it quite certainly reaches that small speck on the map which all the time it had intended to reach. Philosophically speaking, a ship in its port of departure is just as much in its port of arrival: two point-events differing in time and place, but not in degree of reality. Ergo, that first letter from England was as good as written, only not quite... legible yet."
Above, a short excerpt from Richard Hughes' 1929 best-seller, "A High Wind in Jamaica," the 29-year-old Hughes' first novel.
That paragraph stopped me cold when I read it the other night.
I wonder how I reacted to it when I first read this wonderful book perhaps 30-40 years ago, or if it even struck me as worth stopping and thinking about.
This time around I made sure to make note of it because as a result of my enchantment in recent years with Hugh Everett III's 1957 Princeton University doctoral dissertation —"'Relative State' Formulation of Quantum Mechanics" — Hughes' musings on the simultaneous existence of two locations "in time and place" of a single ship clearly anticipate Everett's "many worlds."
FunFact: Everett was born in 1930, the year after publication of Hughes' epic.
Songs That Always Make Me Smile When I Hear Them
These are the musical expressions of the late, great Kinky Friedman's remark to a Washington Post reporter in the early 1980s, to wit: "I'm in search of a lifestyle that does not require my presence."
Just so.
Experts' Experts: How to Make Luxury Ice at Home
The headline over Jeremy White's Wired magazine article was the first time I'd encountered the term "luxury ice."
Long, detailed, and quite informative story short:
1) Buy Crystal Geyser bottled water
2) Boil it
3) Freeze it immediately in a polystyrene container or cooler with the lid off
4) Thaw to near melting point
5) Cut into cubes
This will yield ice as good as the best luxury ice money can buy, ice to rival that from 100,000-year-old Greenland glaciers sold for a comparative fortune ($100 for six cubes) in the world's most exclusive bars and hotels for practically no cost at all.
Wednesday, April 22, 2026
9 Things I've Never Done — And Never Will
• Used an ATM
• Played a video game
• Acquired Frequent Flyer miles
• Bought cryptocurrency
• Used a non-Apple computer
• Had plastic surgery
• Used a GLP-1 drug
• Gone to a funeral
• Had ECT
Wait a sec — what's that song I'm hearing?
Sticker Shield — One of the world's great unknown products
Whenever I show someone what this stuff does they're amazed, impressed, and say, "Where can I get some?"
I say "Right here" and give them a pack from my utility closet, where I always keep a few extras on hand.
OK then.
You know those adhesive stickers for parking, vehicle registration, car inspection, and what–not that go on the inside of your windshield?
Big-time pain in the buttocks taking them off, isn't it?
Big–time understatement, wasn't that?
Well guess what?
You can avoid ever again having to waste time and energy removing and replacing those stickers.
Sticker Shield is a transparent plastic film that adheres to your car's window and makes your sticker look just like you applied it directly to the glass the way you're supposed to.
But here's the small miracle: you can peel the sticker off easy as pie, without tools or misery.
It makes any sticker reusable.
Beyond great.
I'm reminded of its excellence every year, right about now, when it comes time to put a new Albemarle County vehicle registration sticker inside my car's windshield.
A moment to prepare the new sticker with Sticker Shield, then out to the car to peel off the old one and affix the new.
Watch the video below and see just how easy it is to use.
Two 4" x 6" sheets of the stuff, enough for plenty of stickers, cost $9.99.
Bonus: if you've got two cars and work somewhere that only allows you one parking sticker, with Sticker Shield you can effortlessly switch the sticker between vehicles and beat the system.
You know, of course, that you're not supposed to do this.
You know how much I like hacking all areas of life.
w00t!
Tuesday, April 21, 2026
Here's a Dustbuster Design Flaw That's Been Driving Me Crazy for Years!
No matter where you go, your DNA is there for the taking
Below, highlights from an informative and surprising (to me) just published Nature article:
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The Air is Full of DNA — Here's What Scientists Are Using It For
Airborne genetic material can be used to paint a picture of ecosystem health, watch for invasive species, and even identify humans.
... the idea of continuously collecting airborne DNA in public spaces troubles some scientists, who raise concerns similar to those about the sampling of DNA in waste water. [I'm surprised they didn't mention Meta's AI camera glasses, which are capable of instant facial recognition and identification, so far disabled by the company but that could change at any minute.]
Breathe out on an evening walk and your DNA could waft into a discreetly placed urban sampler. Shotgun sequencing, using rapidly emerging, cheap, portable techniques that can generate the type of read-out that helps to identify individuals, could produce results in the field, in near real time.
"People who have been recently in a building, within a day or so, you can certainly pick up their DNA" from the air, says University of Oslo forensic geneticist Peter Gill. For a longer-term record, he says, there is airborne DNA on surfaces. "You can take the dust from on top of a door sill, where people don't normally clean. And then you'll have a sort of mini-historical record of people who have been in there."
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But it's not just for propeller head scientists, not by a long shot: You can too!
For a mere $3,150 UK-based Oxford Nanopore will send you your very own state-of-the-art pocket-sized DNA sequencer (top).
Wait a sec — what's that song I'm hearing?
Wheat Thins Are The New Saltines
Those readers who grew up in the twentieth century will remember how — when as a kid you you were recovering from being ill or had an upset stomach — your mom would give you some saltine crackers as a first step toward rejoining the family at the dinner table.
In recent years I've turned to Wheat Thins — the original, not one of the dozen variations that festoon grocery store shelves now such that you have to pay very close attention to not purchase Wheat Thins Crunch Stix Fire Roasted Tomato or some such variation — as my go-too restorative cracker.
They're still bland and salty enough for this purpose and they are excellent with butter when you're feeling better.
Monday, April 20, 2026
Space Junk — 'A Magazine for Earthlings Who Dream of Outer Space'
"SPACE JUNK is a brand new publication examining the intersection of youth culture and space exploration. Bringing together voices from across science, art, and speculative fiction, it positions itself as both document and provocation — a record of a generation reimagining humanity's relationship to space."
Pilot Issue: $42.
I learned of the existence of SPACE JUNK in an April 9, 2026 New York Times article by Steven Kurutz.
Read it here.
Wait a sec — what're those songs I'm hearing?
So many!
Helpful Hints from joe-eeze: Battling Grout Grime
Best article EVER about why your shower is so nasty — and how to clean it!
Jeanne Huber, writing in the Washington Post Home section, cast the scales — as it were — from my eyes with the sensational revelation that it most likely isn't mildew that's making the grout black: it's manganese!
Who knew?
Like every other person on the planet with the same problem I've repeatedly, over the years, tried any number of bleaching solutions purported to remove the black stuff, which we all know is mildew.
Not.
As Huber wrote in the opening sentence of her explosive article, "If bleach doesn't help, it's probably not mildew."
But bless her heart, she doesn't just leave us there dangling: she then tells us to lift the lid on the toilet's tank — stay with me here — and look at the inside walls.
She writes, "Water laden with manganese usually makes tanks black on the interior."
Bingo — all my toilet tanks are jet black on the inside.
w00t!
She then goes on to outline in detail how to create a quick and dirty — and cheap — manganese remover and provides escalating steps to increase the power of your attack should a light artillery–equivalent not be sufficient to eliminate the threat.
I am so stoked: what a great way to start the week.
Here's the article in full.
- Battling Grout Grime
Q. The grout around my tub is turning black, and a bleach solution doesn't seem to help. What's going on, and is there a way to make it white again?
A. If bleach doesn't help, it's probably not mildew.
Black stains could be caused by manganese, a mineral, in your water.
Because shower walls are usually left to dry on their own, the manganese stays behind when the water evaporates.
Over time, it builds up and becomes especially noticeable on grout, which absorbs more water (and therefore more minerals) than the surrounding tile.
There are a few ways to investigate whether this might be the cause.
Lift the lid on your toilet's tank.
Water laden with manganese usually makes tanks black on the interior.
You can also contact your water supplier and ask for a copy of the annual testing report, which is known as a "consumer confidence report."
It may also be available on the water supplier's Web site.
Or, if you have a private well, you can arrange to have the water tested.
Water with more than 0.05 milligrams of manganese per liter is capable of staining, unless your house has a treatment system designed to remove the mineral before the water flows out of the taps and shower head.
A high iron concentration, over 0.5 milligrams per liter, can also stain, but the color is red or reddish brown.
Having manganese or iron, or both, in your water doesn't make it unsafe to drink.
But dealing with the visual effects of these minerals is definitely a hassle.
You may have noticed stains in your dishwasher or on your laundry as well.
Acidic cleaners help remove manganese and iron stains.
White vinegar (dilute acetic acid) and lemon juice (citric acid) are commonly suggested because they are relatively benign and because you may already have them on hand.
They do indeed work well for many cleaning jobs around the house, but they aren't very effective on shower walls because of the simple fact that they are liquids and run off before they have time to work.
Instead, try making a paste of cream of tartar (the acidic potassium salt of tartaric acid) mixed with hydrogen peroxide, which is also slightly acidic.
Use hydrogen peroxide as it is sold at drugstores, which means it is already diluted in water to a safe level and contains just 3 percent actual hydrogen peroxide.
With an old toothbrush, apply the paste to the grout and wait 20 minutes or so, then rinse with clear water.
If you see some improvement, repeat the procedure until the stains have faded.
Don't expect the quick results you get when you douse mildew with a bleach solution.
But cream of tartar plus hydrogen peroxide does often work if you give it time and use it several times.
If you're in a rush, you may conclude that you need a more powerful cleaner.
Commercial grout cleaners often contain oxalic acid, phosphoric acid, hydrochloric acid or sulfuric acid, which are all quite dangerous in high concentrations (as is hydrogen peroxide).
Although you might be able to buy these acids straight, using a packaged cleaner is a lot safer.
The acid or acids are already diluted, and there are instructions tailored to that concentration, which affects the length of time that the product can be left on a surface without etching it.
Plus, there may be additional ingredients such as detergents or chelating agents, which help tie up minerals so they don't stain.
Bar Keepers Friend and Zud are two powdered cleaners that contain oxalic acid in concentrations that are generally considered safe to use.
Products sold specifically as grout cleaners are often more potent.
If you buy something more powerful, read the full label before you leave the store so you're sure the product is one you feel comfortable using.
Many of the hazardous chemicals found in a typical home are products that were purchased but never used, presumably because the buyers decided too late that the risks weren't worth it.
If ingredients aren't listed, choose another product or ask to see the manufacturer's safety data sheet, which the store should be able to supply.
Products without any hazard warning are considered safest, followed by those with a label that reads "warning" or "caution."
Products with "danger" or "poison" labels are most hazardous.
"Nontoxic" means nothing on a label.
Follow the instructions exactly, including donning any safety gear (such as goggles and rubber gloves) that the label recommends.
You may decide that removing the stains and restoring white grout is just not worth the bother.
There is still something you can do.
Consider staining the grout with a product known as a grout colorant.
Black stains on white look a lot worse than black along with tan or gray.
Colorants are easy to apply, and they don't scrub off.
All of this assumes that your grout, while stained, is still intact and that the tiles are all fully stuck to the wall.
If the grout is crumbling, it needs to be removed and replaced.
You can buy a little tool called a grout saw to make the process easier.
If any tiles are loose, there is probably also an underlying moisture issue that needs to be addressed.
But if you're lucky, stains are your only issue.
Once you have removed the mineral deposits or tinted the grout to make the stains less noticeable, apply a grout sealer, which will reduce the amount of water the grout absorbs and therefore help keep it from staining again.
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• You will find cream of tartar in the spice rack at your local supermarket. Huber assumed people would know that but I'll bet some don't. Maybe most.
• If you decide to go nuclear in your shower stall cleaning effort, open a window and turn on the ceiling exhaust fan, if such avenues of vapor egress exist. It seems to me a shame to have someone come upon your fume–riddled corpse lying there in your spic-and-span shower, considering all the trouble you went to to finally de–grunge that space.
• While you're at it, lose the icky shower curtain liner (they're not expensive) — and maybe the shower curtain as well — and really start fresh.
Lost Images
The creator of this website processes the film he finds in old cameras.
"You are seeing them for the first time, as they were lost by the photographers who took the images."
Talk about a working time machine....
Sunday, April 19, 2026
I Do Not Know — E.M. Cioran
Saturday, April 18, 2026
Hostile Volume
"Hostile Volume is a simple and maddening game where you need to hold the audio volume level at 25%, which gets increasingly difficult with each level."
Fair warning: there goes the day.
Wait a sec — what's that song I'm hearing?
[via Kottke]
The Engineering of Duct Tape
Bill Hammack, aka The Engineer Guy, is an amazing engineering educator and in this video he explains how duct tape is designed to simultaneously do three things well: “a) adhere with light pressure, b) stay in place, yet c) be removable”.
Controlling the stickiness of tape is of utmost importance. In fact, a key element of engineering tape is controlling its stickiness — and only by doing that can tape be wound into a useful roll. If the tape sticks too tightly to itself, we could not use it.
I love the ramp & ball test for tape stickiness near the end… a very elegant and simple bit of engineering:
Pressure sensitive tape predates much of the most elementary molecular understanding of adhesion; tape has been mass produced since the early twentieth century. That engineers developed and refined tape without this knowledge is no surprise — recall that the purpose of the engineering method is to solve problems before we have full scientific knowledge.
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[via Kottke]
the html review — issue 05, spring 2026
"The html review is an annual journal of literature made to exist on the web"
Fair warning: there goes the day.
Friday, April 17, 2026
Got Rust?
"Only gold and platinum are corrosion-free. All others metals require nuanced techniques to protect them." — Stewart Brand, in his excellent new book "Maintenance of Everything: Part One."
The Rust Store carries over 1,000 items dedicated to preventing and removing rust.
More
here.
Wait a sec — what's that album I'm hearing?
Can You Identify Famous Guitarists From a Single Note?
YouTube description: "In this episode I test your knowledge of 20 of the most famous guitarists by playing an isolated single note (or bend) from their famous solos."































